Eleven Weeks and All is Hell

LOA: 34"

Beam: 8.5"

Gross Tonnage: 20.5 lbs

Draft: 15"

He's growing by leaps and bounds and seems to get still naughtier. We still hope to fix at least some of his "problems" before he's over 100 lbs. Even at 20 lbs., he's formidable; he's all mouth, rambunctiousness, and even bullish with us and other dogs (unless they're very old).

But he is learning everyday. He knows how to come and sit. And he generally seems to be a quick learner. And, with a good shake to the scruff of his neck, he's quickly corrected.

Finally, by the way he tilts his head when we're "talking" to him, and judging from his overall alertness and inquisitiveness, we can tell that he's very smart.

But you know the old saying: the only thing worse than a dog that doesn't know what you want it to do, is a dog that does know what you want it to do, but won't do it.

Here, Kel struggles with his squirming body in an attempt to record his weight. He's a real momma's boy, especially when Kel comes home from work. Notice how his head and paws are bigger than Kel's head and paws.

Here's Bali with Dr. Trail. He had a good check-up initially and was a real trooper getting his second round of vaccinations in his butt. In fact, he didn't even react to the needle. But today we received his second "stool analysis" and, already, they detected parasites in there. The parasite, GR something, is contracted either by drinking standing water, or eating poop. We have our suspicions about how Bali got it (see previous posts). Anyway, he's already on antibiotics at eleven weeks. We both should have been vets; they get so much money!

A Weekend of Firsts

We won't be able to hold him like this for much longer.

Bali and Zorro romp. Bali learned some more lessons.

His first hike on the trail was very successful. Although he did eat some of his poop.

For now, his tongue is small.

A very big moment: his first beer! It was a Fire Rock Pale Ale. He knocked Sarah's beer over and slurped it up before anybody knew what was happening. He really likes beer.

Here Bali meets his new friend, Eddie the Ripper, who hangs out at the skydiving club. We think he's probably had a few jumps. Bali didn't seem bothered at all by the planes taking off and landing, but we doubt he will ever jump.

Bali Meets His Uncles

Bali finally meets his uncles and takes his first hike on the trail. It wasn't really a hike, but we did cover some good ground.

Bali seemed to like classic Dylan. He's a "folk dog."

Ethan made The Classic Backpacker (the Martin traveler's guitar Unc. Jeff gave me) sound terrific.

Here's Bali on his first ride in the Saturn. He even stayed in the back seat with Kel, while Oliver and I sat in the front seats.

One of his nicknames is "munch gut."

The Terrible Ten Weeks

LOA: 34"

Beam: 8.5"

Gross Tonnage: 17.2 lbs.

Draft: 15"

Please note that these dimensions are not obtained in an easy way. And their accuracy is probably dubious. Bali does not cooperate with the measuring and weigh-in. He bites at the measuring tape and attempts to eat the scale. It doesn't matter if it's metal, plastic, wood, or glass, he wants it in his mouth. Although we could never have imagined it, he's even naughtier at ten weeks than he was at nine.

Here's his ten-week portrait. He's a pretty good poser, if you get lucky enough to catch him at the right moment.

Here he is in his crate displaying his massive front paws. They're already over three inches wide. And his little claws scratch and his little teeth puncture.

After he inhales his breakfast, and guzzles his water, he goes outside to "eliminate" (the polite term for taking a leakski and a dooker). When he's done, he comes back to the center door to the deck and waits. I try to keep him out there for as long as possible - even in the rain. He's a mountain dog, he can handle it.

Puppy Madness Inside on a Rainy Day

Here's Bali spilling out of his crate. Notice the clothes basket. The more confined his space is, the less likely he is to pee in his crate. We won't be able to get away with this confined space for long.

Bali loves his "grunting hedgehog" (it was also Gorda's favorite).

We're trying to get him outside of his crate and to act like a civilized dog, but you can see what it's like.

Spring Has Sprung

The narcissus, crocuses, daffodils, and turtles are all starting to pop their heads. Bali the Bonehead pops his head everywhere you don't want him to. We worked in the yard all weekend and he "helped" in every way he could think of. Imagine a small, bear-like puppy eating saw dust, attempting to chew on a hot chain saw, attacking a rake, and clawing a swinging hammer. That's how he "helps." Here he "poses" by spring flowers. It only took us a couple dozen attempts to get this shot . . .

Here Bali is seen with his first, very own chew toys (every toy he had, until now, was a hand-me-down from Gorda). This eco-friendly bone (which obviously doubles as a pillow) and these "chew keys" were a gift from his neighbor, Sarah. He went berzerk on them and then collapsed. We like it when he collapses.

Here, Bali learns some lessons in manners from his friend Zorro. Notice how Bali is a slow learner and seems to think he's already the Alpha Male. Soon Bali will dwarf Zorro in size.

The Day Before Spring

After another long, hot, pee-filled day, Bali and his monkey crash hard.

Rusty Red Eyebrow Patches

We realized that Bali's rusty red eyebrows resemble the mysterious artist's insignia in Cast Away with Tom Hanks, one of our favorite movies (the first half, anyway).

See the resemblance?

Nine Weeks on Saint Patrick's Day

LOA: 31"

Beam: 8.5"

Gross Tonnage: 14.5 lbs.

Draft: 13"

Very proud at nine weeks. Here Bali is celebrating with the all-inclusive package at Casa Del Schowalter Lakeside Resort --all the water you can drink and endless, long leakskies.

Ever since Bali moved in, Calypso has taken up permanent residence in the bedroom upstairs. This is the FIRST time she has ventured downstairs and even (since she's a sucker for heat) outside. Actually, I had to carry her down. She is hyper-aware of Bali and hissed at him three times this afternoon. Bali is still unaware that he has a sister.

Look, a small, bear-like torpedo!

Tail tip flanked by pink pads. He won't be able to put his rear legs straight back like this for long.

All I want for my birthday is a tasty, wooden chair leg.

Here's a typical end-of-the-evening activity for Bali. Notice how he chews and bites indiscriminatingly between his rawhide and the bolsters on his bed. The same rule applies to fingers, toes, and pant hems.

Del Sol!

Here we go again. He's obviously programed genetically to guard any and all firewood. It gets cold in the mountains!

Finally, the sun shone brilliantly today and heated the air into the sixties. We think Bali was too warm!

OK, he didn't get up here voluntarily . . .

This is only his second or third time on the lead. Not bad!

Mountain Dog

Pretend he's a small yacht. Specifications:

LOA: 31"

Beam: 8"

Gross Tonnage: 14 lbs.

Draft: 13" (at shoulder)

Bali thinks he's the King of any mountain just because he caught wind that he is a "mountain dog."

This includes small piles of firewood.

And large bags of dog food too.

Even mountain dogs have their limits.

A tired mountain dog is a good mountain dog.

A Growing Boy (in reverse)

A Reverse Chronology of Bali the Berner (because we don't know how to use this damn thing) and, soon, the crescendo of his nine-week portrait!

Bali at six weeks (looking, I don't know, hung-over).

Bali at four weeks (very serious, if a little off-kilter).

Bali at three weeks (I can barely f@cking stand).

Bali at two weeks (I can't stand).

Bali at six days (Christ, I'm a Guinea Pig).

Doesn't he look like a "Little Devil?"

Bali in his home . . . that he likes to pee in.

His first chew toy.

After he poops, he gets pooped out.

His first rawhide.

Last Sunday we drove two and a half hours to the foothills of the Pocono Mountains in Pennsylvania to pick up Bali, the Bernese Mountain Dog. Within two and a half hours from then his name had changed to "The Little Devil." Stay tuned to find out why, once we figure this blog thing out.